rohan missed out by five minutes
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it is supposed to get a song out of your head
but it isn’t working. Did Mei-Ling lie to me?
Underground, Overground, Wombling Free,
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we.
Making good use of the things that we find,
Things that the everyday folks leave behind.
Uncle Bulgaria,
He can remember the days when he wasn’t behind The Times,
With his map of the World.
Pick up the papers and take them to Tobermory!
Wombles are organized, work as a team.
Wombles are tidy and Wombles are clean.
Underground, Overground, wombling free,
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we!
People don’t notice us, they never see,
Under their noses a Womble may be.
We womble by night and we womble by day,
Looking for litter to trundle away.
We’re so incredibly, utterly devious
Making the most of everything.
Even bottles and tins.
Pick up the pieces and make them into something new,
Is what we do!
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Snakes on a Plane
I am sorry for taking you to see it, SpongBo. I laughed a few times, I jumped a few times. I will never get that $30.60 back, or the two hours. Lots of hotness though, but not a redeeming quantity.
It was good to see you IRL though.
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majority
I just looked through my last few posts and I realised that all I have been writing about lately is going to pubs. I thought I might give you a taste of what I do for most of my time. What I do is, of course, myspace work.
Whilst I was in Holland I took some time to think about what I want to do with my life
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number eight for fucking
I just love my web stats. I know who is visiting me. I know how many times a day they visit. I know what words they searched for to find me. I used to get a lot of searches for pantyhose porn, lately a lot of people come for my chowder and lamb stew recipes.
Today I got a surprise. A single word: “fucking”.
I am number 8 in Google India for the word “fucking”. Quite possibly my second greatest achievement after becoming number one for “darryn”.
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snert!
Breigh just told me that Unox have, in NL, released a new pack of my favourite soup in the whole world: erwtensoep. I lust for this. I miss it so.
Talking about it with her brought back memories, missing the things I can’t get here. It is probably not the right word, but I got a little bit homesick. Not for the place this time, but for the food. People say that Dutch food is no good, the Dutch are always apologetic about their national cuisine. Well I love it (except haring).
I have been cooking a lot of Dutch food recently. I have made stamppots on several occasions, and I make them so well that Sonia requested a stamppot for her birthday dinner. I am having Greg and Nicola over for dinner next week and I will be cooking them hutspot (a kind of stamppot) with hachee (a kind of stew). I was given (well, Kirsten and I) a Dutch cookbook as a housewarming gift when we moved into our house on Max Planckstraat. As I was planning to cook hachee for guests I made a test batch last week and it turned out exactly as I remember. It seemed so wrong for me to be putting cloves into a stew but it turned out very well, even Melvin (the food snob) thought it was good and asked for seconds.
After talking with Tammy I have decided that my next recipe will be erwtensoep (a.k.a. snert). I have a few recipes but there will need to be a fair bit of planning as I have to find a pig’s ear and foot and a celeriac. I know where to get spek (Harris farm). I also know where to get the roggebrood but I hate it and it will not make an appearance.
Breigh, please post me some of the pictured Unox erwtensoep. Kirsten, please bring some back for me, and rookworst – you can be my mule!
[Update] I just remembered something that I have never shared with anyone. I have kept up a habit that I started when I lived over there: I shop entirely in Dutch. Once I enter the supermarket I only think in Dutch. Well, as much as possible anyway. Of course there a lot of things here that you can’t get there (what is Dutch for lamb shanks?[update: lamsschenkel?]) but I still make the effort. This is why every time I go back to Holland my Dutch is better than when I left.
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always open and always good news
Last night I was supposed to meet Lisa for a drink after work, but instead I took her home and was promised a drink at her charming local. It turns out that her real plan was to use me as a decoy in some kind of dodgy deal which I won’t describe.
When I arrived at Lisa’s house I was introduced to her best friend and flatmate, M. M was, as Lisa, shocked at my height and described me to her friend (on the phone) as a giant. We compared heights and she is very short, she only goes up to my nipples. She handed the phone to Lisa and went in the kitchen to get me some food – some kind of tasty rice flour pyramids with meat/seaweed filling, the kind that sometimes come wrapped in banana leaves. They were very good but I had no appetite and couldn’t eat the bun that she also gave me. While I was eating I overheard Lisa say to the guy on the phone “oh Darryn? he’s my boyfriend”. This was news to me.
M was very friendly to me, she is very outgoing, talkative and funny. After I had eaten the three of us went to the pub but it was closed and so M drove us to their favourite place in Sydney…City Extra! I used to eat at City Extra when I was a kid, and I always ordered the same thing: pumpkin soup. My sister and I would actually read the fake newspapers and laugh at some of the stories. Anyway we sat outside beneath some ineffective heat lamps and waited for service. Eventually we ordered our “coffee” i.e. the girls had hot chocolate and I had a peppermint tea. M told a lot of stories and Lisa looked a bit cold. They kept asking me if they were scaring me off – if they were trying, it didn’t work.
Afterwards I got home at about 11:56, just in time for Sonia’s birthday. I waited until midnight then busted into her room and sang her happy birthday. She liked it and I stayed in there talking until 1:30. Another late night. I am getting a lot of those this week.
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Weekend FTW
CAUTION: This post is over 1500 words long. Read at your peril.
Friday
My weekend started on Friday night when I met Sonia,
I kept noticing a girl at the end of the table, I was sure I knew her. It started raining and as she retreated past me I called her by name. It was Fiona, with her boyfriend Tim, two people I used to go clubbing with, back in the day. We started catching up as we went inside, but we got separated and then I found Lisa so all bets were off. Lisa was not feeling too well so I talked her through it and then we got a cab home as I had been drinking and couldn’t drive.
As Lisa and I were going to the Mountains on Saturday we needed to get an early night. This did not happen. We ended up staying up quite late talking, watching Naruto and listening to Lisa’s mp3 collection.
Saturday
I got up early on Saturday morning (8:30!) and Mel gave me a lift to Crows Nest to pickup my car. Luckily I did not have a ticket. I got home, had a cup of coffee with Mel and got ready, waiting for Lisa to wake up. Eventually she did and I took her home to get ready whilst I waited in her lounge room. Whilst I was there her uncle kept appearing but he never said a word to me or ack’d my existence. I wonder, is this a taste of things to come?
Soon we were on the road, but we hadn’t eaten so we stopped in at Maccas for breakfast (at noon). I only ate a Big Mac but Lisa had a large Chicken McNugget meal with coke, and also bought a big bag of cheetos and burger rings. I mention this because Lisa weighs less than half of what I do. I have cooked for her a few times and she always eats more than me. She is a freak.
When we got to the Mountains we were immediately driving through mist and fog. From Glenbrook onwards (i.e. almost the lowest town). We got to Leura and I found the only parking spot: right in front of the Lily Pad cafe, coincidentally this was exactly where we were going. The reason for the whole trip, apart from being an outing, was that Lisa is obsessed with this one particular tea that she can only get at the Lily Pad. We went in and my piggy friend wanted to get breakfast, despite the Maccas and cheetos she had just eaten. I got poached eggs with mushies and spinach and Lisa got bacon and eggs. We both had tea, Lisa her special Peach Melba tea and I had Russian Caravan. I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t taste the leather and camel sweat that characterises this tea but it was still good. During lunch breakfast Lisa negotiated with the staff to buy 200g of Peach Melba - their entire stock. It cost about $34!
Afterwards we went browsing through Leura, the highlight being the Moontree candle shop, which is a must-see for every girl who goes to Leura. I bought a lemongrass candle and a cool recycled glass holder/plate. Lisa bought some floating candles that came with a big vase,flower and some pebbles. It was clear that she was enamoured with the Melon scented candles, I don’t know why she didn’t just get three of them. We decided to get Sonia some votives as well, Lisa picked out a cool holder and I chose the scents.
Our final stop was the lolly shop. This shop has every kind of candy you can imagine, even a Dutch section. I showed Lisa the drop, and they even had triple-salted drop which even I was too scared to try. I ended up getting a roll of salt drop and some mints, Lisa bought almost the shop’s whole supply of nougat.
Before heading home I took Lisa on the road to Katoomba. She was born in the year of the pig and is obsessed with them, so I took her to a wall I know that has cool pigs painted on it.
On the way down we stopped in at The Pines to have tea with my Mum. Of course we had some of Lisa’s special Peach Melba tea and snacked on the nougat in the Red Room. Lisa and Mum seemed to get along well. Afterwards Lisa told me that she likes my Mum more than me, and Mum told me that she thinks Lisa is lovely. For me it was weird, Lisa wanting to meet my Mum when we are barely even dating.
The ride home was uneventful, it was dark so Lisa slept. We were almost home when Sonia called, she needed a lift so we went and picked her up from
Sunday
So Sunday began early, well, early for a Sunday. I had to be at The Pines by 11:30, so I arrived at about 11:45. The reason for my visit? Christmas in July, of course. My American readers won’t know this, but when it is Christmas in Australia, it is Summer. So we normally eat cold food on Christmas, like cold prawns or ham. If we want to have a traditional English/American Christmas dinner we need to have it in Winter, hence Christmas in July.
Before I went up I was trying to explain the family situation to Sonia. It was difficult because it flies in the face of what she expects. There was of course my Mum and George, myself, my sister Michelle and her fiancee Luke and their baby Sampson. The kind of people that you would expect. Then there is my Dad (i.e. Mum’s ex-husband) and my stepmum Honey. Her three boys (my stepbrothers) Blake, Reece and Aaron, and Reece’s girlfriend Stacey. There was Dad’s sister, my Aunty Lyndie. But the unexpected part for me, and the hardest to explain to Sonia, was Lisa (not my friend, a different Lisa). Lisa is the daughter of Honey’s ex-husband’s new wife. So the link between my Mum and Lisa is: Mum -ex- Dad - Honey -ex- Harry - Sveta - Lisa. We should get some kind of blended family award.
The spread for lunch was incredible: roast turkey with all the trimmings; roast veges and roast rack of veal. Mum made the special capsicum butter that you drizzle over the veal. So good. For the first time in years I managed to get the pope’s nose, which is the fattiest and therefore most succulent part of the bird. My contribution was making the gravy, and an excellent job I did too.
We all enjoyed the meal, I was lucky because I got to sit next to Sampson, my 10 month old nephew who I adore. He loves gravy, especially the way his Uncle Darryn makes it. After we had eaten the main course we all started singing songs to Sampson. He loves music and went absolutely mental whenever we sang to him. He would bounce in his chair and clap his hands and try to sing along.
Dessert was next, and Mum had made a special plum pudding to be served with custard, whipped cream and ice cream. There was also a trifle going around. We were all stuffed at this point, and after clearing the table we retired to the lounge room to lie around digesting.
All too soon I had to go. I beat most of the traffic down the mountain and was home by perhaps 7PM. I worked for a few hours and then Lisa called and we ended up talking for four hours! A record, at least since my teenage years. So another night with little sleep.
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good with the bad
Last night was the most important football game in the history of Australia. Australia vs Italy in the round of 16 of the World Cup, a knockout game.
I went to the Crows Nest Hotel to watch the game, along with Sonia,
It was my shout first, and I joined the throng at the bar. Next to me was a young guy with an Italian flag headband. In the Australian spirit of friendly rivalry I told him that he disgusts me, to which he responded that he is disgusted by both me and my mother. He later told me, in an Australian accent, that he could never respect me. I guess he was sick of the ribbing, being a traitor within a frenzy of Aussie spirit.
Sonia and Lisa found us a spot with a view of a TV, sitting on the ground. At this time both teams were already on the field so we were lucky to have made it. Most of my readers aren’t Aussies so don’t know what happened. It was a great game, the Socceroos did us proud and gave as good as they got, with a score of 0–0 for the whole game. The whole game, that is, until the last 8 seconds where the Italians scored a goal off of a typically World Cup bullshit penalty. Not a happy time, but not too sad either as we were all proud of the historical achievement that our boys, um, achieved. I will be going to the tickertape parade when they return.
Lisa and I went outside to the 7–11 to get some drinks and missed one of the highlights of the evening. Sonia, high on caffeine and foolishness, almost got into a brawl with the aforementioned Italian headband man, who was standing in the middle of the road taunting us.
Faced with the prospect of a taxi drought and a long walk home, I summoned all of my rockstar powers and made a cab appear. It was almost time to turn off to our street when our caffeinated friend informed the driver that we were going to Minsky’s. Not an early night then. Afterwards we walked home (it is 8 minutes down the hill). I took Lisa on a detour to the kiwifruit tree that I discovered on the weekend. We have a lot of kiwifruit now.
Back home and we were tired but not sleepy. Sonia disappeared and Lisa and I chatted and watched Matrix on the MCE until she succumbed to sleep. So I went to bed at 5AM on a school night.
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